Reverse psychology to provoke your jealousy and have it at your feet. Have you ever deliberately tried to cause jealousy? You may have done this in many different ways. For example, maybe you flirted with someone, waiting for your partner to notice. Or maybe you didn't text your partner when you went out dancing with your friends.
Perhaps, instead, it could have been very ambiguous about your plans for the weekend and simply not being available. Pwould you have taken a step further and leave pictures of ex at home or fake phone numbers saying:
"Call me for a hot night." Or maybe you called an ex just to shake the pot and wait for your current partner to notice and get angry. "
Suppose you love your partner, but you know that these actions will be unpleasant and can hurt your feelings. Maybe even break up with you.
Welcome to one of the most interesting aspects of romantic relationships.
Study after study shows that we are concerned about looking good for a possible partner and that once we start dating someone, we want them to think well about us and love us.
Once we have a partner we really love, we want him to remain ours. Some of us become extremely possessive and engage in all kinds of interesting behaviors to prevent "poachers" steal from our partners, or try to retain the interest of our partner. Others of us could manipulate our "sweetie" more directly to get the attention we want.
This dichotomy of loving a couple and yet using potentially harmful manipulations to shape their behavior has been captured in several studies. One in particular that offers a good overview is Amy Fleischmann and colleagues (2005).
Begin by reviewing how jealousy "is a common source of relational dissatisfaction, couple conflict, breakup, aggression and violence."
They continue to define romantic jealousy as: "a set of thoughts, emotions and responses after a perceived threat to a romantic relationship by a rival." According to them, jealousy occurs when someone tries to protect an existing relationship.
According to many scholars, jealousy is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, they can cause discomfort in the relationship and violence, but on the other hand, it can reflect love.
Yes, it is true, jealousy can have a very positive side. That is, if we feel jealous of someone, we must love him; If we are indifferent about the activities of a partner, we are expressing that we really do not care too much.
It is not surprising, then, that intentionally causing a partner to experience jealousy is a risky strategy to get attention. It can hurt your partner to the point that they break up with you, or it can make your socks get up and start being a better partner.
As Fleischmann et al. propose, some people do it to make their partners "participate in compensatory behavior to improve the relationship."
Earlier, Sheets and colleagues (1997) reported that, for those who intentionally tried to make a couple jealous, 87 percent had done so to get attention, while 24 percent sought an increase in their commitment and 18 percent One hundred tried to use keep them as a couple.
In addition, Fleischmann et al. He points out that there are many reasons why someone tries to induce jealousy, including someone who just wants a partner to take it out more, try the relationship, do it just for fun, get rewards (as gifts) and want to make a living – trust or a feeling of power
A final aspect of Fleischmann et al. An article that I think deserves comment is the fact that they found three main types of behaviors. First, they discovered that people participate in a "relational distancing," which is when they try to keep their friends separate from their partner, exclude their partner from social plans, say they are too busy to see their partner and be deliberately lazy about the plans. or with whom they spend time.
Secondly, people get involved in a "flirting facade," where fake numbers or photographs are placed around, flowers are sent or someone else is taken to the place that was a special place for them and their partner. Third, they discovered that people use "relational alternatives," which is when they talk about other people, including former partners or rivals, or tell their partner that someone tried to get their phone number. I should point out that they discovered that all these behaviors were higher in the self-reports of those in causal relationships rather than exclusive.
What causes more jealousy
Very recently, Weinstein and Wade (2011) discovered that people are more likely to use emotional traps than sex traps to make a couple feel jealous, which for me indicates that jealous induction is about trying to manipulate the state Emotional of a couple.
What is also interesting about this study is that they discovered that men were more likely to end a relationship because of lack of sex, while women were more likely to end a relationship due to lack of emotional support.