As the Canadian Dave Denberg, of the Clarke Institute of Psychiatry in Toronto (Canada) reminds us, “couple therapy offers a way to resolve problems or conflicts that couples cannot resolve between themselves”. Including, moreover, if the problem in question seems to them a priori impossible to solve. The basis of the therapy is based on the will of both spouses to get involved in this process.
For the therapist, the challenge will be, on the one hand, to understand the couple’s situation, and on the other hand, to help them find solutions. The first question he will ask you will concern the reason (s) for your consultation. This is why it is important to think about it beforehand and to prepare well for this moment.
As Anick Ferron of the Université du Québec à Trois-Rivières explains, “even if the effectiveness of marriage therapy is already well established, it is important to clarify the mandate of the therapy.
For example, do the couple want to improve the relationship, resolve an ambivalence as to whether they want to pursue it or not, or do they want to separate ”. In such a case, counseling can help to clarify this rupture and to “make the stages of separation a reality.”
In addition, the moment when the couple chooses to consult appears to be important. “Several couples consult when things are going badly for so many years and especially with the hope that therapy will save their couple,” she continues. “The observation that I have been able to make over the years of my practice is the following: the sooner couples consult after the onset of problems, the more chance there is that the therapy will be effective, and this, if the two partners really want to continue together ”.
In other words, the ideal is rather to act, without waiting.