The term “Toxic person” We have heard it a thousand times, and more in these times. This refers to a person who negatively affects the people around him due to his way of being and his toxic behaviors.
First of all, we must be clear that a toxic person is one who gives off negativity, pessimism, or demotivation. The fact of dealing with a person with such a negative aura, can cause us to feel responsible for him or her, in a certain way, and that we feel trapped in the relationship.
Another characteristic of a toxic person is that they are usually very authoritarian or selfish, who abuses our trust and knows how to take us where he or she wants. As he knows us and knows how to dominate us, he can get what he wants from us.
There is a fundamental point in toxic people and that we must know how to recognize, and that is they don’t always behave the same way. That is, its behavior may be different in the different environments in which it moves. “We do not behave exactly the same in all scenarios, nor do all people awaken the same facets in us; that is why we can be toxic or destructive in some relationships and, nevertheless, function with relative quality in others ”, explains psychologist Rafael San Román.
How to recognize a toxic relationship?
The first and most important step is to know how we feel put that person together. If we analyze and recognize that this person unleashes negative feelings in us, then here we have the first red flag. But we also warn that we do not do this hot reflection after an argument, because surely the result will always be negative. What we have come to say is that you analyze the relationship in general, not in a certain moment alone.
Next, we must determine if that person does not make us feel good, and if the reason is him or her, or ourselves. That is, we must know if we feel discouraged, scared, misunderstood, annulled … with that person. We must also know this negative feeling is the product of their behavior or our way of being and our own fears.
If after all this analysis and reflection you realize that you are facing a toxic person, the best thing is get away from her. It is also true that we must take into account 3 factors when facing this moment: what role it occupies in our life, what dependence we have on it and if our relationship also affects the common environment. Perhaps it is easier to say goodbye to a toxic friendship than to a family member or partner, for example. “What you have to do is, for the moment, transform the relationship and later see if you have to continue taking steps towards distancing yourself,” according to San Román.
How to stay away from someone toxic
– Take distance from that person: you must realize that you are someone and you do not need the other person to be yourself.
– Set limits to the inertia and routines that exist when it comes to getting closer.
– If you cannot end this relationship, ask for the help of a professional to accompany you in the process.
Therefore, as Ibai Llanos says: “Toxicity out, bad vibe out.”