Some sink at us, while others sting us inside. The reproach is rarely welcomed, but our ability to receive it depends largely on the person opposite who formulates this reflection. “If the reproach is formulated by any person, we quickly go over it. On the other hand, if it is formulated by a person that we esteem, that we love, then it is much harder to accept”, explains Jean-François Marmion, psychologist, and guest of We are made for each other.
The reproach falls on us, and is only rarely welcomed with open arms. We don’t expect it, and it’s up to us react to it in the best possible way. By countering it perhaps, by asserting oneself, if we judge that this reproach is unfounded, and that it serves rather to hurt, to devalue. “There is often a judgment made on the other from whom something is expected”, confirms Didier Pleux, doctor in developmental psychology.
But there is also this reproach, more grounded, more beneficial, and which everyone can use to improve themselves. “In the reproach, there is the notion of coming together, so if it is formulated by a close person, it is not just any word and you have to have the ability to correctly analyze it in order to receive it well. “, advises Catherine Aimelet-Périssol, doctor of medicine. Useful criticisms, if they are well formulated, and which sometimes lead to thank the one who formulates it to us, so much it enlightens us.
And sometimes the blame is also there for reflect who we are, with our good and our bad sides. Jean Cocteau said: “what the others reproach you, cultivate it, because it is you”. It is up to everyone to take the necessary step back, and to observe an objective look at their person.
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– Catherine Aimelet-Périssol, doctor of medicine and therapist in emotional logic and trainer at the Institute of Emotional Logic. Author of ” My bible of emotions ” at Leduc.S.
– Didier Pleux, doctor in developmental psychology, clinical psychologist, psychotherapist. Author of “Expressing anger without losing control” by Odile Jacob.
– Jean-François Marmion, psychologist. Author of “Psychology of bullshit in politics” at Editions Sciences Humaines.