13 tips for the Kings of Spain before your trip to Havana

4- It is possible that when they say that you are the Kings, the Cubans are not astonished. It is a problem of idiosyncrasy. We Cubans have the aristocratic stuff in the blood. We just arrived at Miami and we baptize business in style: King Pizza, The King of Frits, The King of the Punch, The Versailles, The King of Brightness, etc.

5- Bring a translator so they can understand the president Miguel Diaz-Canel, that one does not know if when speaking he is drunk, he is only ignorant or if he is an ignorant who drinks a lot.

6- Keep in mind two things: in Cuba, the only thing that changes is the time. And the only truth that newspapers say is the day, the month and the year.

7- If you need a camera help at the Palacio de la Zarzuela, hire the chancellor Bruno Rodriguez, which is a zero to the left, but it could be a magnificent carry and bring, and it is very effective cleaning carpets because it is usually very dragged.

8- In case you want to recover from jet lag, ask to be received by the vice president Salvador Valdés Mesa, that sleeps anywhere and I could accompany them in their naps.

9- Try by all means not to feel bad. If someone suggests taking them to a hospital, refuse with all the strength, because they will not get out of there alive.

10- It will be inevitable that they will be taken to contemplate the tomb of Fidel Castro, called by the people "el cambolo", "el pedrusco", "el seboruco". Don't you think to ask him to resurrect.



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